Dean Ashton admits there is a 'bitterness' about being forced to retire after revealing he may never be able to run again.
Striker reveals pain at being forced to retire
Dean Ashton admits there is a 'bitterness' about being forced to retire after revealing he may never be able to run again.
The 26-year-old called time on his career on Friday after failing to fully recover from an ankle injury initially suffered while training with the England squad back in August 2006.
The West Ham striker missed the entire 2006/07 season and, though he played the following campaign, he had not made a first-team appearance since September last year.
He has made his long-term health his priority in calling it a day and concedes he is currently struggling to even walk properly.
Rubbish situation
"It's a rubbish situation," Ashton told
The Sun. "I just want to be able to walk properly and, at the moment, I cannot.
"My health is obviously more important than football. I was told if I kept trying to play football, I might never walk again.
"I am going to hospital on Tuesday for a fifth operation.
"It's unlikely I will ever be able to jog again, but right now, I can't walk properly.
"My left ankle is still very sore. It will be a while before I feel okay and get over this disappointment.
"There is a bit of bitterness and I think 'Why me?'. It's a sad part of football."
The former Crewe Alexandra youngster also revealed that he had known for months that he was going to have to retire following an aborted comeback attempt at the start of this season.
Broke down
He added: "In August of this year, I tried to join in with the first team. I went to do a jog around the pitch, but at the end of second lap, I was struggling. The noise coming from my joint was terrible.
"Kieron Dyer thought it was my boots making the noise. I went to the side and was crying on the floor. This was the second time I'd broken down in tears.
"I knew this was it. Definitely. My last chance had gone. I was finished. The lads were all shocked and saddened to see me like that.
"Generally, I don't show a lot of emotion so it was probably strange to see a big lad like me crying. But I knew that was it.
"The delay over these last few months was due to myself and West Ham sorting out all the technicalities of me retiring.
"I'd like to thank West Ham for all the time they have spent on me and the fans have been terrific. I'm sad I could not get back and play in front of them."
