"When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer... Bristow's only 27."
"The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in with a portion of chips, you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them."
"There's only one word for that: magic darts."
Generations of sports fans loved listening to the lyricism and wit of the legendary Sid Waddell and on Christmas Day, Sky Sports News HD looked back at his extraordinary life in Special Report - The Voice of Darts.
Rarely has a broadcaster been as inherent to the growth of a sport as Waddell was to darts, but his poetic one-liners and unbounded enthusiasm helped it transcend from pub game to global phenomenon.
It was Waddell who spotted the potential for the game as a television sport in the 1970's and he was central to its growth throughout the 1980's before the emergence of the PDC in the 1990's.
When Waddell died last August, the sport was firmly established as an arena-filling behemoth and while he never expected the game he first enjoyed in a Yorkshire working man's club to reach such giddy heights, his role in its expansion should not be underestimated.
He pushed forward the game on TV from its beginnings as part of the Indoor League show, developed the idea of the now-familiar split-screen camera shot and, perhaps most importantly of all, gave the sport a voice.
And what a voice! The self-styled "Geordie banshee" became synonymous with TV darts commentary and his brilliant one-liners were soon etched into the public consciousness. As one fan noted on Twitter shortly after his death, it's not often someone dies and everyone remembers them by laughing about all the funny things they said!
So join Special Report as we follow the journey of a miner's son from the coalfields of the North East to the TV commentary box, via Cambridge University.
We talk to those closest to him and relive some of his finest moments on TV. Plus there's a previously unseen interview with him ahead of his final commentary.
So hit play on the video at the top of this page to learn more about the Voice of Darts.