A month or so ago I played football in a charity game for England against Wales for the John Hartson Foundation. I wrote a blog about it. It was one of the best things I've been fortunate enough to do while I've been at Soccer AM.
Gary Speed was playing for the opposition. So when I heard the news on Sunday morning, I couldn't believe it. I only met him briefly, I didn't know him - but we laughed and joked during and after the game and he came across as a genuine guy, interested in other people and not in any way affected by the great success he'd had as a player or was experiencing as a manager.
When someone dies so young it's always tragic. Of course none of us know the circumstances, and despite the obvious curiosity - really we don't need to know. It's none of our business. We just need to extend our sympathies to those closest to him.
And perhaps it's too early to ask if there's anything we can learn from this. Maybe it's a stupid question, and this is just a tragedy. Nothing more, nothing less. But it does really highlight the fact that footballers are human beings.
As fans I think we sometimes forget that despite all the money and adulation, footballers are like the rest of us. Some are nice, some aren't. Some are happy, some aren't. Footballers are no different to anyone else.
We don't yet know what happened to Gary Speed - the inquest into his death has been adjourned until January.
Speak up
For now let's consider the range of problems in the game that are often brushed under the carpet, whether it's racism, homophobia or attitudes to mental health.
You can kind of see how it happens. In any dressing room, you can imagine how difficult it is to show weakness, or difference, or speak up if you're unhappy about anything. That has to change.
None of us go through life without experiencing or witnessing events that make you thankful for what you've got, or realise both how fragile life is and how minimal your worries really are. And events like this put your life into perspective.
Clearly I don't think about these things every day. Like everyone else, I'm caught up in my own bubble. Life goes on. And you can't spend the whole time worrying about the worst things in life - the world doesn't work like that. I guess it just makes you realise that life is short, and you really should make the most of it while you can.
We will of course pay tribute to a man who did so much for British football on Saturday.
Have a good week,
Max