Former Rangers captain and Netherlands international Fernando Ricksen opens up about his battle with motor neurone disease in an emotional documentary to be shown this weekend on Sky Sports.

At the age of just 38, Ricksen's life has been turned upside-down by the muscle-wasting disease which has left him with difficulty speaking and needing help to dress and feed himself.  

Amazingly, he is trying to stay positive.

"I can't sit in the corner and say why me, what happened?" he says in the Sky Sports Originals documentary 'Fernando Ricksen: Hard Times', which is on Sky Sports 1 at 7pm on Sunday and available On Demand from 10am on Saturday.

"For me, it happened and I'm still happy and living," Ricksen adds.  

"In my head, I'm playing every day but my body doesn't want that anymore."

Fernando Ricksen

"In my head, I'm playing every day but my body doesn't want that anymore.

"You need to listen to your body but I think that everyone who knew me knows I don't listen!"

The film looks back at Ricksen's controversial playing career that saw him captain Rangers to the league title in 2004/05 and be named joint Scottish player of the year, but was dogged by a series of drunken off-the-field incidents.

He left Ibrox in 2006 after being sent home in disgrace from a pre-season training camp in South Africa.

"At times, he was a bit crazy," admits former team-mate Barry Ferguson. 

"And a pest. Fernando was a nice guy who would do anything for you, but he was a pest."

A host of former Rangers and Netherlands team-mates are featured in the documentary, telling stories of a player who was a fans' favourite but had a habit of causing trouble. He won 12 caps for the Dutch national team but his international career was cut short.  

"He came to the team hotel and tried to open the door but the door wouldn't open," recalls Ronald De Boer of an incident after a Netherlands game.

"And of course, he was a bit drunk so he kicked the door down and Ruud van Nistelrooy was sleeping in there!  

"He realised he was on the wrong floor. Those sorts of things go back to the manager and that was his last game for the national team."

"At the moment, I am more happy than when I played. I'm convinced I'm going to live a very long time."

Fernando Ricksen

Just two years after retiring from the game, Ricksen is now having to face up to the disease which will eventually kill him. 

The first signs came at a testimonial match for Dutch midfielder Mark van Bommel.

"He came in the locker room and he couldn't play," says van Bommel.  

"There was something different about his jaw and he couldn't speak well and the muscles in his face were moving differently than normal. The doctor noticed."

Ricksen recalls the moment he was told about his life-changing illness. 

"When they said, I just couldn't believe it," says Ricksen.  

"I thought they had made a mistake, maybe they took someone else's file. But after one month of all the tests, then you know what you have."

Motor neurone disease is one of the most difficult illnesses to cope with, according to consultant neurologist George Gorrie.

"It's a type of creeping paralysis. Eventually it will give rise to an inability to walk or talk or breathe," he said. 

"It's a condition doctors dread the most, given the absence of any drugs to significantly improve the condition. They wouldn't wish it on their worst enemy."

Back in January, 42,000 Rangers fans turned up at Ibrox for a benefit match for their former captain. Ex-team-mates were shocked by the decline in Ricksen's health.

"I heard him coming down the corridor and I was taken aback," says Neil McCann. "I gave him a big hug.

"One of the things I did was I started speaking almost in broken English to him, maybe because I didn't quite understand the illness.

"I was annoyed and a little bit angry I spoke to him like that. I know upstairs he's still sharp as a tack. I can see it in his eyes."

But despite the diagnosis, Ricksen still puts a brave face on his illness.

"From the first day to the last, I had so much fun. At the moment, I am more happy than when I played. I'm convinced I'm going to live a very long time."

'Fernando Ricksen: Hard Times' is on Sky Sports 1 HD at 7pm on Sunday and available On Demand from 10am on Saturday.