Patrice Evra has revealed his emotional scars from France's nightmare World Cup campaign will only heal when he pulls on a Les Bleus shirt again.
France exited at the group stage after failing to win a game in South Africa and their whole tournament was undermined by fighting within the camp.
Chelsea striker Nicolas Anelka was sent home following a row with coach Raymond Domenech, which saw skipper Evra lead a protest against Domenech with him and the rest of the squad refusing to train ahead of their final Group A game against the hosts.
The Manchester United left-back was handed a five-match ban by the French Football Federation in August as punishment for his role in the protest, with Franck Ribery and Jeremy Toulalan handed lesser suspensions.
Evra has one game to run on his ban and is desperate to put the summer's ordeal behind him and add to his 32 caps.
"I experienced some very difficult moments," he told French TV show Telefoot.
"It remains a scar and it will only disappear when I wear the shirt again.
"My ban is almost finished, so I am highly motivated and it gives me desire to be at my best.
"I will play for my country until my legs won't allow it or the national coach doesn't call me."