Portsmouth's Luke Varney is desperate to return to action against Barnsley on Saturday following his suspension.
The striker was sent off against Hull City last month and has subsequently missed Pompey's win over Blackpool and defeats by Peterborough and Leeds.
In an interview with The News, the 29-year-old stated his personal sense of guilt and frustration.
"It was a bit easier to miss the Blackpool game when we won it but I've never been good at watching games, especially with the situation we're in and you want to pull your weight.
"We've got a good group here and not to be involved is very disappointing after such an innocuous challenge.
"I found it hard but the lads have kept me involved and I've been to every game.
"It's just in case of keeping fit and being ready for the next chance. I will have to keep myself topped up and, hopefully, I get the shout on Saturday."