Many purists cringe whenever Test cricket is labelled 'boring' by the casual observer, but even the press pack's finest struggled to find any excitement on day three at the Kia Oval.
In a full 98 overs of action, England plodded along from 32-0 to 247-4, seeming content to play out a draw which would leave the final series scoreline at 3-0.
With talking points so hard to come by, it became one of those days where the fact there was no real story became the story itself.
Here's what the press made of day three...
Andy Bull - The Guardian
The breeze blew, the grass grew and in the middle of The Oval the match ambled on. It was hard to say which was the most energetic activity of the three. England's pace was as sedate as that of the heavy grey clouds which drifted over as the day wore away. In the morning they scored 65 runs, in the afternoon another 84 and after tea 66. They ticked along at two an over, a clock without a second hand, turning slowly towards stumps and the end of the series.
Paul Hayward - Daily Telegraph
Across the innings, England scored at 2.12 an over. A late ticket purchase for this third day would have cost you £199 on the internet. Watching this final Test has been a bit like reading the credits after a night at the cinema. Australia are desperate to win after their big first-innings total. England, who promised a scorched-earth end to the series, are content not to lose.
Kevin Garside - The Independent
In some parts of the world they can't pay people to watch Test cricket. Make that most parts. At the Kia Oval you can still walk out of the Tube into the opportunistic clutches of ticket touts, gathered in huge numbers to trade hot tickets.
These boys know a money-making tale when they smell one. And when to bail. The streets outside the stadium were clean as a whistle by noon lest the punters came screaming out of the arena asking for their money back.
Wayne Smith - The Australian
Even English journalists pressed young batsman Joe Root hard at the end of the day about whether his side had had any respect for the thousands of spectators who paid quite exorbitant sums to witness one of the most boring days of Ashes cricket since Trevor Bailey retired his dead bat. Certainly England made no attempt at all to entertain them.
Malcolm Knox - Sydney Morning Herald
Nathan Lyon was the standout among a group of Australian bowlers who tried everything they could. With some more luck, some more skill, or even some fielders who could throw straighter or take the blinding catch, they might have had the wickets to reward their endeavour. But in the end, England repelled and perhaps also disillusioned them.
By the end of play, the full house at the Oval could be divided into those dismayed by the lack of action and those delighted by the length of their beer snakes. Presumably there were also some who remembered that a lot of Test cricket used to be like this. This is a game, after all, that in 1939 did what mathematics cannot, and defined eternity itself: a timeless Test abandoned after ten days. The run rates in that match, by the way, were faster than England's on Friday.
Richard Hinds - Herald Sun
The fault lies squarely with England, which spent much of the second day bowling at what might be described as ''snail's pace''. Although only if the snail concerned had just suffered a massive coronary. Then, on the third day, England batted with all the urgency of a death row prisoner studying the menu before his final meal.
The home team eked out a meagre 215 runs in 98 overs to limp to 4-247 at stumps. To suggest the pace was funereal does no justice to the horse power of the modern hearse. Clearly, Australia's big first innings total of 9-492 declared, and the likelihood of heavy rain on the fourth day, left the home team content to plod to a draw rather than boldly pursue an unprecedented 4-0 home Ashes victory.